To every woman out there that struggles with doubt…you are not the only one. For the past few weeks, the weight that doubts press into our lives was ingrained into my mind. I felt this strong urge to write and confront doubt on “paper”. Every woman I have encountered in my life has had their own long, winding road with doubt. Have you been there? Are you there right now at this moment? Doubt causes us to stagnate and stuck in our current situation. My hope for you is that you would not let doubt be the dictator of your dreams and desires.
The truth about doubt is how rooted it is in fear: The fear of making the wrong decision, taking the wrong step, pursuing the wrong path…the list can go on. When I finally began my own journey a while back of facing my “demon of doubt”, everything didn’t begin to magically fall into place. While I totally wish it did…it was rather a slow and steady growth process of recognizing the ROOT of doubt and being conscious of BUILDING “doubt resilience”. I’m writing this today not to give you an abstract view of doubt, but to give you PRACTICAL steps to confront doubt and begin (or continue!) constructing resilience in this area of your life.
Alright…let’s dive right in!
1. Our Thoughts.
Do you find yourself being controlled by a constant state of whirling and swirling thoughts? The thing about our thoughts is if they become the decision-maker of your future, you will ALWAYS find your head spinning while your body remains sitting. We give so much power and authority over the thoughts our brains repeat to us: Are we measuring up to this person’s expectations, are we qualified to be in the position we currently have, are we capable of stepping out into a new position, am I worthy enough to be in this relationship, etc. If we continue to let our doubt-filled thoughts determine our future…nothing will change.
2. Our Focus.
Not only do we need to restrict our thoughts, but re-shift our focus. When focusing on doubt, the disciplines of our life begin to diminish. We begin to brew on feelings of being overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, and frustrated. Then…we begin to act upon these feelings. Do you find yourself removed from your self-care routine? Do you struggle to get ready for the day? If this describes your reality, you may be focusing too intently on your “demon of doubt”.
3. Our Limitations.
How do I define “limitations”? Limitations (put simply) are the thoughts of excuses. It’s in our human nature to always have an excuse as to why things didn’t get finished: We didn’t have the time, inspiration, discipline, or creativity to start. These doubt-induced limitations become the derivation of inaction. What limitations are you placing on yourself that wasn’t meant to be there? If your doubt limitations were removed, what actions would you be taking?
4. Our Past.
…raise your hand if you don’t have one. Unfortunately, some (or A LOT) of our belief systems stem from the fact that our family of origin was not “normal”. We may have been told things that were lies in disguise we firmly believed for 10, 20, or even 50 years. I’m here to tell you your past does not define who you are- it only helped shape you to be who you are now. Let’s begin to shed off the “I’m not good at that because….” and let’s start to see exactly what our past is: our past. What are you needing to let go in order to leverage a foothold on doubt?
I will be the first to say doubt seems to be a universal ongoing splinter under your fingernail kinda deal (Yikes- intense image…I know). But doubt IS intense…and INTENT. It’s always there. But it doesn’t have to be permanent. With the right tools, we can wedge out the splinter of doubt, wrap it up in a bandaid, and begin the healing process. Anyone who has had a splinter knows that there needs to be a pain in order for there to be progress. I can promise you this: not only will you be healed from doubt, but you will be more empowered and stronger than ever before. I will warn you, it’s hard work…but we CAN take steps to build our doubt resilience.
I know, I know. You have reached the end of this post and I have only given you the four ways to gain awareness of doubt... not how to build doubt resilience- don’t worry- that will be sent your way next week. I meditated on this decision of combining versus separating the important…not something to quickly scroll past and overlook. If you aren’t fully aware of how doubt dictates the decisions in your life, building doubt resilience will be pointless. Take this week to understand how doubt has intertwined itself into your life. Visualize what it looks like for you and how it seems to be impacting your decisions. Sit with doubt for awhile- stare it in the face. Get to know it, ask it some questions, and call it by its name. Once you understand how doubt works for you, you can begin the process of building resilience.
Next week I will be revealing four practical ways to build doubt resilience and being the champion of your decisions!
Written By: Toni Thrash
Instagram: @fortitudelifecoaching
FaceBook: Fortitude Life Coaching
Website: www.fortitudelifecoach.com
Email: t.thrash@fortitudelifecoach.com
Photography By: Anna Claire Beasley
Instagram: @annaclairebeasley
FaceBook: Anna Claire Beasley
Website: www.annaclairebeasley.com